The Pro’s, No’s, And Woes Of Online Dating (As A Single Mom)

Online dating, it can be fun…..right?

Ok girls, it’s time to get real. We’re single, and the world of online dating has become the thing…and it is inevitable. Well, for most of us. Seeing as the old school ways of meeting guys is well….old school. It’s very difficult if not darn near impossible to meet men the good old fashioned way, especially if you’re a mom. Getting out and about where we might have a chance of meeting any single guy just…simply does not happen.  If we ever do surprisingly run into a handsome fella like say, at the grocery store, we’ve got whining kids attached to our cart and that may as well be a big flashing sign that says “LEPER” on our foreheads.  No brave soul will dare come near, or even make eye contact.  It’s the truth. Men are terrified of us single mom’s…we have to admit it. And when it comes to meeting these gutless men online with all the savvy and fun apps and dating sites that are out there it makes the whole experience…easier….or does it? 

Now -a -days there is a dating site for everything and everyone you can imagine. So whatever and whoever you are, there is a match for you! Disney fan? Yep, there’s a site for that. Farmer? Yes, there’s a site for that. Got extra curves? Yep. There are even dating sites for women who love beards, golfers, sea captains and….vampires? So whatever it is you’re looking for, it’s out there. As terrifying as that may…or may not be. With all the options out there, every swipeable app and flirtatious sounding website, and with the pressure on from every family member, friend and lonely night about when we’re going to find a man,  we easily fall into the world wide web of what is online dating. Below are my personal Pro’s, No’s, and Woes.

• Pro:  It’s easy, mobile & convenient. With most dating sites offering downloadable versions for your phone, you can carry around your own black book of single dudes. Get messages as soon as they are sent and get a notification every time your profile gets a “like”. You can check out these sometimes criminal looking guys anytime you like and chat whenever you find a moment in your hectic day as a mom. No stress. 
• No: Disrespectful, educationless, rude and honestly horny guys. Sadly, in mine and most all other’s women’s cases, the majority of the men we connect with are about as dumb as a brainless scarecrow and extremely disrespectful to women in general. With no thought or care about our children, or to even spell a simple word correctly, they expect us to drop what we’re doing, dump our kid/s off with a babysitter and go “hook up” with them at their beck and call. Like dude, I just started talking to you fifteen minutes ago, and you want me to just run off and come meet up with you right now? Get real, as if. Men let their urges turn off their brains…apparently. I don’t even have a babysitter, wherever I go, so does my kid. Want to get me alone? Then you’ll have to marry me first you baboon, cause it’s not likely gonna happen as long as my kid is under 18.  Want to go out on a  date? Unless it’s out to eat might as well be plastic pizza at Chuck E. Cheese then yeah right.  Not cool?  Then fine, you lazy, uneducated, disrespectful, baggy pants wearing, horny, no good lame excuse for a man is so not worth my time. 

Image via Pinterest

• Woe:  Scardy cats. Remember the flashing sign on our foreheads? Yeah, those pop up in the online world too. Once most guys find out we are moms, and we can’t/won’t abandon our responsibilities to go run off with them at a moment’s whim, hook up at 1am or let them come over they run for the hills. Men don’t go out looking for single moms, they just don’t. Most of them treat us as if we’re diseased….hence, the flashing “LEPER” sign we carry around.  They may seem sweet, understanding and nice at first until the conversation deepens or they ask to meet to up and we mention we have kids. We say”No, I’m sorry but I can’t. Maybe we can work out something sometime, though.” And 99.9% won’t ever even respond back. They’ve already left the chat window before even reading the rest of our message. They disappear in a flash of color, leaving skid marks and whatever was in their pockets behind them. Cartoonish sound effects included. Well, there goes that. Next! And the same thing happens every time, no matter now nice and mature the guy seems at first. As soon as they find out we have kids or that we can’t meet up in person right away, poof! Their magnificent disappearing act leaves up astounded. My kid’s own father wouldn’t stick around, so why should I expect some stranger to? There’s some reality for you. Don’t expect every man you meet to be patient and respectful of motherhood. Most aren’t.
• Pro: Exciting, fun, and flirty. On the rare occasion that we actually meet a guy that doesn’t look like he should be on an episode of Cops, has a sense of humor and sticks around long enough to read the full message after they see the word “kids”, it can be kind of exciting to meet someone new, and start chatting with someone you hope looks as cute in person as he does in his profile picture. When he messages you on a regular basis, asks questions about you or even just asks “how was your day?” you get that little flutter, it never lasts long, but the fact that it’s possible to get it at all is itself miraculous. Cutesy emoji’s, being called beautiful or getting random messages throughout the day is refreshing and flirty, which can be fun.

• No: Dirty pics. Ok, it’s time to get even more real for a sec. Ever open up a message and to your shock see something….that makes you think if their camera aim and selfie game is …off? Yeah, we’re talking dick pic’s girls. Don’t be shy, you know it happens. More often than not.  Some will say hi first, other’s will not. Online dating is interesting, that’s for sure! You have to be prepared for the creepers, peepers, and nude pic senders. Just take it from ole’ Forrest Gump. “Life if like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
• Woe: Let’s go back to the first No, for a moment and discuss the guys who can’t communicate properly if their pathetic lives depended on it. I’m so sick of seeing the worst grammar imaginable, the most simple of words spelled incorrectly and oh my heavens if I get one more  “hey whats good” message I swear I’ll take a baseball bat to something. Doesn’t anyone know how to say hello and introduce themselves anymore? Why can’t a guy start a conversation the proper way? UGG. It’s so irritating and it makes me facepalm every single time. C’mon guys, really? 

So with all the pro’s, no’s and woes that come with online dating, is it really worth our time moms? What do you think? Are we fated to stay single for the rest of our lives?

Please follow my blog for more on my online dating journies and more topics I know you’ll love! Stay strong girls!

-Jess XO

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